Zadnje novičke

[tamy]

ORGAZEM
"Zakaj je Bog izumil orgazem?"
"Zato, da moški vedo, kdaj morajo prenehati s seksom!"

[tamy]

NOGOMET IN ATLETIKA
"Kakšna je razlika med atletiko in nogometom?"
"Atletika je kraljica športov, nogomet je pa finančni minister."

[tamy]

MARATON
Na maratonskem teku vpraša tekač sotekača:
"Ali morda veš v katero smer tečemo?"
"Po mojem proti jugu."
"Po čem to sklepaš?"
"Dalj ko tečem, bolj mi je vroče."

[tamy]

MARATON
Maratonci so se bližali cilju in gledalec je dejal svojemu sosedu:
"Mislim, da bo zmagal tisti tekač z ovratnico!"
"Kakšno ovratnico? To je njegov jezik!"

[tamy]

NE BO DIRKAL
Motorne dirke. Zasliši se startni strel. Vsi motoristi z veliko hitrostjo speljejo, eden pa ostane na startu. Štarter ga vpraša:
"Kaj pa je z vami? Ne boste dirkali?"
"Kako le, če ste ustrelili v mojo gumo!"
Ostali > Šport


ta je pa zate,cyc!!!

[cyc]

... ma, s prazno gumo še bolj grabi! OK, ne čisto prazno ... malo manj polno

[cyc]

A wealthy couple had planned to go out for the evening. The woman of the house decided to give their butler, Jeeves, the rest of the night off. She said they would be home very late, and that he should just enjoy his evening.

As it turned out, however, the wife wasn't having a good time at the party, so she came home early, alone. Her husband had to stay there, as several of his important clients were there. As the woman walked into her house, she saw Jeeves sitting by himself in the dining room. She called for him to follow her, and led him into the master bedroom. She looked at him and smiled.

"Jeeves," she said. "Take off my dress. "

He did this carefully.

"Jeeves," she continued. "Take off my stockings and garter."

He silently obeyed her.

"Jeeves," she then said. "Remove my bra and panties. "

As he did this, the tension continued to mount.

She then said, "Jeeves, if I ever catch you wearing my clothes again, you're fired!"

[tamy]

a si vse prebral?

[vidkul]

Če vam je vsec kontakt vasega telesa ob drugo telo,...
Če vas ne moti vonj potu,...
Če dobro prenasate dihanje za ovratnik, na uho ali na lice,...
Če vam ugajajo vedno novi polozaji,...
Če radi vstopate spredaj in zadaj,...
Če vam ni odvec dvigovanje, spuscanje, vstopanje in izstopanje,... ce
vas
ne moti, da vstopate hladni in izstopate vroci,...


...potem potujte z avtobusi mestnega prometa in uzitkov vam ne bo nikoli
zmanjkalo!


lp Vid

[cyc]

Mož je pokopal ženo in ji dal narediti spomenik z napisom:

"Tukaj leži moja žena, jaz pa doma počivam v miru!"

[cyc]

Starka hodi po pokopališču in išče en grob, a ga ne najde ... opazi grobarja, zato ga povpraša: "Mi lahko poveste, kje je grob številka 149?"
Grobar se pa razjezi: "Pa kaj za boga ven hodiš, če ne znaš nazaj?!".

[tamy]

HUDO
"Ni tako hudo, če profesorji vidijo študente, ki vsakih pet minut pogledujejo na svoje ure. Precej hujše je, če jih vidijo, kako si ure držijo ob ušesu in poslušajo, če ure sploh delajo."

[tamy]

DALJNOGLED
Policist je za rojstni dan dobil za darilo daljnogled. Zvečer je šel na balkon in sosede ter prijatelje opazoval pri posteljnih užitkih. Naslednji dan se je bahavo postavljal pred kolegom:
"Včeraj sem te pa videl kako si seksal. Imam namreč nov daljnogled." Se je pohvalil.
"Če bi imel pravi daljnogled bi ugotovil, da sem seksal s tvojo ženo" mu odvrne kolega.

[tamy]

Znam deliti le ljubezen, ne pa sovraštva.
(Antigona, 523, Sofokles, ?495-406 pr.n.št.)

[tamy]

Ženske sicer lahko sklepajo prijateljstvo z moškim; vendar ga ohranijo le, če nekoliko pomaga antipatija.
(Človeški, preveč človeški, Nietzsche, Friedrich, 1844-1900)